


It Felt Like Love and Drugs

by lemonhopia



Series: Last Night I Did Things... [1]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Past Relationship(s), They broke into Dowoon's ex's house to party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 08:27:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16740538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonhopia/pseuds/lemonhopia
Summary: Dowoon was wrong to find home in someone who only saw him as temporary, and even more wrong to find healing in the same place that destroyed him.





	It Felt Like Love and Drugs

“Are you sure about this?” The wind was quite strong and it was hurting her eyes, but Nari held on tight to Dowoon’s shoulders to keep her balance.

“Trust me,” was Dowoon’s only reply, voice low and eyes focused on the road, pedaling faster to keep up with their friends a few meters ahead of them. 

The sun was high in the horizon, summer breeze strong in the air. Relatively peaceful, considering what they’re about to do. They stuck out like a sore thumb in the posh suburban neighborhood. 

Nari wondered why they thought it was good idea to use bikes for getaway rides, but she just went with it. Besides, Dowoon was so sure about this.  _ “Trust my instincts.” _ That was all he could tell her. He insisted he knew the owners but didn't go into detail how, and he’s certain that the house should be empty for at least a few days. 

Nari had to trust his instinct because if she trusted her own, she wouldn't even be with Dowoon in the first place. And she didn't want that. He was danger, all warning signs pointing to him, yet she was willing to throw all caution out the window. 

 

No one dared to make a sound as they ducked behind a neighbor’s car a few lots away, waiting for their target’s car to pull out of the garage. Soon enough, the grey minivan drove off, leaving a trail of dust in its wake. With a wave of his hand, Dowoon signalled the rest to get up, making sure Nari is following closely behind him. 

They swiftly but quietly climbed up the steps from the garage to the back door. Thankfully there were some trees and bushes to shield them from view. 

“ _ Stay low, _ ” Sungjin mouthed in instruction. Everyone stayed crouched down as Dowoon fumbled with the door. 

Dowoon’s heart was pounding but thankfully his hands were able to cooperate, opening the backdoor lock that he has picked open so many times in the past. Suddenly his years of breaking into school and community pools were put to good use. He laughed to himself, thinking back to how stupid he was back then to think he stood a chance, when she won't even give him a spare key. 

 

“Woo! Party!” Jae exclaimed as soon as Sungjin locked the back door behind them, with Dowoon taking one last look to make sure no one saw them come in. It's been so long since he last did this, and it felt weird how he's not doing it alone anymore. 

“Ok, everyone! House rules!” Dowoon clapped his hands to get everyone's attention.

“Dude, we literally broke into this house,” Brian's voice came from the living room. He was already settled on the couch with his feet up, an arm propped up on the backrest. Jae followed soon after, pushing off Brian’s legs to make space for him on the couch. 

“No taking anything aside from the food and drinks in the kitchen, understood? And don’t bother cleaning up after yourselves, just, go make a mess or whatever, they’ll have someone clean up after anyway,” Dowoon ignored him and continued. “And let's all look out for everyone,” 

A collective “Yes” came from Sungjin and Wonpil in the kitchen, already surveying the contents of the fridge and arguing which type of cheese is which; and lazy grunts of confirmation from Jae and Brian in the living room. Good enough. 

 

There was a feeling of satisfaction in Dowoon's chest, but something he couldn't put a finger on is clouding it. He knows he should leave this house a mess like it did to him. But there's a lump in his throat upon seeing the marble kitchen countertops, the black velvet sofa, the expensive paintings on the wall from artists whose names he can't even pronounce. They were all just memories, repressed until now. Was it guilt? He wasn't sure he was still capable of that, knowing he was the only casualty of that storm. Was it the sting of finding home in a place that wasn’t even his to begin with, only to be taken away from him when he least expected it?

“You okay?” Nari's voice coming from behind him was a welcome distraction before his thoughts could take him places he didn't want to go. He mustered the best smile he could, taking both her hands and kissing her in response.

“I’m okay.” He whispered as he pulled away, more for his own peace of mind than hers. 

“Just relax, you said we’re here to chill, right?” She squeezed his hands still in her own in reassurance. 

“Yeah, of course,” A small smile formed on Dowoon’s lips and he absent-mindedly rubbed the back of his neck as he looked around the room. His friends are indeed having fun. Sungjin was nowhere to be found, probably in the other living room where all the artworks were displayed, while the others were sprawled on the couch eating cupcakes and drinking beer. He shook off another memory creeping up from the deep recesses of his mind. One of which involved those same cupcakes, and how she would eat them while still in bed taking care not to get any crumbs on the sheets. Dowoon scoffed. As if her sheets remained clean whenever he was there in the first place. 

The sudden feeling of cold metal and warm fingers touching his skin brought him back to the present. He glanced back at Nari to find her fixing a gold watch on his wrist. Looks familiar. Black, rectangular face, a few diamonds embedded around the dial. Looks expensive. Must be  _ his.  _ The clenching in his heart is creeping back in and he tried his hardest to fight it.

She was right. He shouldn’t let his memories of this place get the best of him. Or else, the whole point of choosing this house would be defeated. To his friends, this is just another one of their break-in parties. To him, this is closure. It’s been what, five years? Dowoon has been a wreck since then. He may not have any power over her anymore, well, not that he ever had. But he could at least barge into their space unannounced, show them the place they call home isn’t as sacred as they play it out to be. Maybe then he could let that wounded part of him heal.

“Let’s go upstairs?” His arm snaked around Nari’s waist, and he was met with a nod and a mischievous smile.

Dowoon was in serious need for a distraction. Every sight in this house was nauseating. Like the reflection of the water ripples from the pool into the wall leading up to the stairs, the lies, the pretension, all of them, dizzying. 

However, he didn't want Nari to be just a distraction. No, she was way more than that to him. She was safety, a real sense of home, the force reeling him back to the present when the ropes of his past are pulling him by the neck.

He kissed her again, trapping her between him and the wall. He watched the water reflections play with the lights and shadows on her face. 

“Can't wait until we get upstairs?” Nari giggled between kisses, her fingers running through his wavy hair and pushing it out of his face. “It's a warm-up,” He chuckled into her neck, breathing in her scent that never fails to calm him down.

Dowoon wanted all of his senses to remember this girl in front of him. The sound of her laughter making him feel alive, the sight of the corners of her mouth lifting into a smile, the taste of her lips pressed into his, the electricity on his fingertips as they graze her skin. 

_ I want only you.  _

He has said that to Nari in his head countless times. When all of this is over, he dreams of finally saying it out loud. 

 

Every step felt like a mile even though the room was only another floor up. Dowoon knows what's in that room at the end of the staircase. He has lived it, breathed it too much, to the point he forgot what air felt like because her scent is the only thing he wanted in his lungs. 

The door creaked open with just a slight turn of the knob. All these years later and it still hasn't been fixed. He still remembers how it broke in the first place. Did she not have a use for a proper lock anymore? Did she not have anymore secrets to hide behind this door? 

He took in the sight in front of him carefully. Some furniture has been rearranged but everything else pretty much looks the same, just more lived in. He didn't want to say  _ homey _ because this isn't how a home is supposed to be. After everything that happened here, he hated himself for even feeling like home in this house. In this room specifically. It's the same closet, the same nightstand, the same balcony overlooking the pool. And the same bed. No matter how many times she changes her sheets, this bed will never be clean. Now it's his turn to leave his own dirt in it. 

 

“It's nice in here,” Nari was already sitting on the bed, back against the headboard and propped up by pillows. She patted the space next to her, scooting a little to the side to make some space for Dowoon. 

“Hmm, yeah it is,” Dowoon turned his back from the window and joined her on the bed. “because you're here,” He was hovering over her, his gaze intense. He traced the outline of her lips with his thumb. There was a sense of peace with Nari, with the way her gentle yet piercing eyes almost make him let his guard down. Almost. There was still a wall he himself couldn't break down. It stands ominous in front of him, sometimes even surrounding him, like today. And he didn't know how to destroy the wall without it crumbling all over him, burying him in debris. 

She draped her arms around Dowoon's neck, guiding him to lean in closer and closer. Closer, until their lips touch once again, but this time a lot more softer and a lot less hungrier. They were both eager to have a taste but not without carefully savoring each other's taste on their tongues. He started to deepen the kiss, licking her bottom lip and asking for entry, and she obliged. Even as the temperature between them rose, he took control and touched Nari the way she deserved to be touched. Passionate, instead of desperate. 

His hands felt all the dips and curves on her body that he never took notice of before. He felt horrible for not paying attention to all her lovely little details, all because he was just hungry for a release and not much else. He left a trail of kisses from her jaw down to her neck, sucking at the delicate skin until it left faint red marks, moving down further to her collarbones. 

She pulled him into her even closer by the belt loops, soft sighs escaping her lips as he grinds against her, hungry for contact. His hand found a home under her sweater, drawing circles on the smooth skin of her lower back. His kisses grew more and more heated. Tongues and teeth and lips colliding, tangled in a breathless exchange. 

“Condoms, did you bring any?” Nari whispered, out of breath, their foreheads still pressed together. 

Dowoon nodded slightly, and just when he was reaching for the back pocket of his jeans, a knocking noise startled both of them.

He pressed a finger to her lips and climbed off the bed, signaling her to stay quiet. They looked around the room in silence, listening closely.

Then the sound again. A faint sneeze and a knocking noise. A muffled shuffling of blankets in a closed space. 

He almost jumped when the closet door opened. A little boy was sitting on the bottom shelf where he made a blanket fort, knees huddled to his chest. Dowoon looked at the kid and felt a tugging in his chest he can't quite explain. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing his younger self he only sees from the photos displayed in his parents’ house. The boy looked about 4 or 5, his brown eyes mirroring Dowoon's confusion and curiosity mixed with fear. 

Before Dowoon could properly process what was really happening, the sound of a car pulling up the driveway snapped him out of his trance.  _ Shit.  _ The panic hit him like a wave as he heard the commotion downstairs. But he couldn't bring himself to get out of the room. Not with this little boy in front of him. He stood up gradually and the boy retreated further into his blanket fort that looks awfully like the ones he used to make when he was at that age. 

“I- I'm not gonna hurt you,” Dowoon kept his voice low and his hands held out to show he wasn't a bad guy, surprised that he even managed to get any words to come out. 

“Dowoon, we have to go,” Nari's voice was shaking. 

“Go on ahead without me,” 

“What? No, I'm not going without you,” 

“Nari, please,” His voice was firm this time. “Sungjin hyung will take you home, I'll meet you there, ok?” He gave Nari a quick kiss on the forehead. He couldn't keep his eyes off the boy.

Nari had no choice but to run downstairs. He could hear the others running out the backdoor. 

Just shortly after, the front door opened and a man called the boy's name from downstairs. He was expecting the boy to scream and cry at the sight of total strangers in his home, but he remained calm, albeit looking shaken. 

“Woon? Woon!” The man called again. 

“Go to your dad,” Dowoon was frozen to his spot, arms hanging limply at his sides, the word “dad” leaving a bitter taste on his tongue. 

“Dad?” The kid called out and gave him a small nod, then immediately ran downstairs. Woon, huh. He chuckled bitterly to himself, clenching his fists. How unique and creative. 

Dowoon flashed back to reality when he heard footsteps slowly coming up the stairs. Heart racing and hands shaking, he looked around the room for an escape, but there was no way he could run out of the room without going down the stairs. 

Except for the balcony. 

“Fuck it,” He closed his eyes and whispered to himself. He had no choice. It was about a 10-feet jump and he doubts he will make it.  _ But he can't get caught.  _ He cursed at himself for not taking his swimming and diving classes seriously. 

There was no more time to debate with himself. The footsteps were getting louder. Dowoon looked back at the bedroom door one last time, and the moment it swung open, he made his jump. 

It felt like time stood still in the few seconds from pushing himself off the railing and the moment he hit the cold water below. Gasping for air, he managed to pull himself up to the surface and get ahold of the edge of the pool. No sign of Nari and his friends. Good, they got away on time. 

What he saw instead though, was something- someone, he didn't ever want or expect to see. There she was, just a few feet away. But he didn't dare call her name, knowing that the syllables that used to roll like honey off his tongue are now all jagged edges filling his mouth with blood. Their eyes met despite the glass sliding doors separating them. Only for a few seconds though. Dowoon was met with a look of disappointment in her eyes. And disgust? Disapproval? She averted her eyes, not sparing him another glance, shielding her son away from his view.

 

It took a great deal of effort to move his limbs. Dowoon was trembling, not knowing anymore if it was from the cold or from the pent-up rage he's been holding in for so long. He pushed himself out of the pool and made a run to his bike hidden in the bushes. He was surprised his body was even working, because his mind sure was already fucked up. 

 

Dowoon spent all his remaining energy on pedaling, his bike being the only thing that was still under his control. He was going so fast that he almost caught up with his friends, now just about a hundred meters away. He caught a glimpse of Nari on Sungjin's bike, shooting him a concerned look. As soon as they reached the outskirts of the neighborhood, he stopped and let himself fall behind the rest of the group. 

The sun was setting, bathing the surroundings in a warm orange glow, but he was far from being ready to rest. The streets were oddly empty and quiet, the opposite of how he was feeling. He just stood there in the middle of the street, his hair and clothes not yet fully dry, still trying to catch his breath. 

He was already wrong in trying to find a home in a person who only saw him as temporary. Maybe he was also wrong in hoping to find healing in the same place that destroyed him. 

His mind replayed images of Woon, scared in his room, mirroring his features and expressions. A thousand what-if's flooded his mind. He swallowed hard, burying his face in his hands and pushing the memory to the farthest corners of his brain, wishing it will never resurface. For the first time in years, he let a single tear roll down his cheek and wiped it away instantly, hoping it would also be the last. 

_ Woon, wherever you are, you deserve better. I hope you don't make the same mistakes I did. _

Dowoon picked up his bike and his dignity from the curb, hoping that the trip back to his apartment where Nari is waiting for him will be his first step to picking up the pieces of him that he lost.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based off The Maine's Love & Drugs MV that has been bothering me for 5 years now.  
> https://youtu.be/D9t5i49I6uc
> 
> [CC](https://curiouscat.me/lemonhopia)
> 
> [Twitter](twitter.com/lemonhopia)


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